Sunday, October 09, 2016

Thanksgiving Feast

Traditionally, people tend to over-indulge at the big feast of plenty. No turkey for me though -- I just wanna pig-out on your yummy plump pussy and swallow every drop of your tasty joy juice. White or dark meat, love it all. Wanna feed me, for an hour or two ?

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Wanna Play Pussy Scrabble ?

If I beat you, I eat you. If you win, you can straddle my face, ride my tireless tongue with your pussy and ass, and squirt your tasty joy juice down my throat. 

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Cuntoholics Unanimous

My name is Peter and I’m a cuntoholic. Happily, my addiction is incurable but I need to be fed frequently and generously. Fresh juicy cunt is not to be found at meat markets or grocery stores or farmers’ markets or delicatessens or food banks, and I’m ravenously hungry, desperately famished. Pussy is not on the menu at Wendy’s or Burger Queen or Tasty Taco or Starfucks or Hot Box Lunch or Chick-fil-A or Pink Lobster or Cuntry Style Muffins or Clam Jam or Finger Lickin’ Chicken or Peach Pie Paradise or Smorgassbord Slurpfest or Schnitz N Tits. Surely I thought, Asian establishments would offer what I crave – but no luck at Sum Yung Slit or Chow Mein Snatch or Happy Lucky Noodle or All You Can Eat Poontang Buffet or Yummy Cummy Dumpling or Juicy Lucy Sushi. 

So dear readers, who will feed me ?

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Final Oral Exams

Seeking 12 libidinous pussy-proud women to attest to my general proficiency in eating pussy – the final step in achieving my cunnilingus credentials. Please be ready to submit to a minimum of one hour of thorough and satisfactory pleasuring in order to complete your detailed report.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

The Great Canadian Beaver Eating Contest

This contest is open to anyone with a hot juicy pussy. The winner is whomever withstands the longest period of continuous vigorous tongue lashing courtesy of my tireless insatiable tongue, before collapsing into an orgasm-induced coma. Cash prizes to be announced. Who's down for the challenge ?


Sunday, May 15, 2016

Sacred Starfish Communion

Quiet Sunday morning

Just returned from mass

Gonna use my hungry tongue

To fuck her luscious ass

Friday, May 06, 2016

Guess Who's Cumming For Dinner ?

Table for two ? Ravenous wolf seeks libidinous lady for smorgassbord of fine dining, fantasy fulfilment and peach pie for dessert.

Friday, April 29, 2016

Oral Sex in the Workplace

Insatiable tireless tongue slave seeks unpaid office boy position under your desk. Offering enthusiastic oral service to needy or greedy ladies of any age, race, or body type -- however you like it, for as long as you want. Bonus if you squirt or gush or get very wet -- I swallow. Love hair, or bare, or in between. May I have an interview ?

Sunday, April 03, 2016


Clitoria ternatea, an Asian herb commonly known as Butterfly Pea or Asian Pigeonwings. Edible and juicy and deliciously palatable with medicinal properties and high nutritional value. Beautiful symbol of the sacred flower of femininity.

Monday, March 28, 2016

Vive la France

There are long-standing European traditions, especially in France it seems, when it comes to matters of the heart and pleasures of the flesh. No one bats an eyelash when a man keeps a mistress and it's routinely accepted. And a mature woman who takes a lover is admired and viewed as a sensualist for satisfying her considerable libido. But the most deliciously encouraged tradition is that of a woman of a certain age who takes a naive young man into her boudoir and introduces him to the mysterious and wonderful world of love and lust. I was incredibly fortunate to be one such young man.

I was 23 and she was a neighbour, a high school teacher, and older than my mother. A vivacious Quebecoise who had lived in France and dressed and carried herself in the most sensual yet elegant and dignified manner. A refined coquette with greying hair and sagging flesh and just the right amount of jewelry. I was a nervous but willing pupil and what I earned in her basement on a summer afternoon would change my life forever. Until then I thought that lovemaking was simply a matter of fucking and ejaculating and that a woman should automatically enjoy it. There was no notion of putting my face between her thighs and thoughts of the female orgasm had never entered my mind.

She was a kind and patient teacher and inquired about my limited sexual experience and knowledge. She asked if I would like to make a woman cum and when I agreed she told me to get down on
my knees and introduced me to the delicious delights of cunnilingus. She guided me verbally and showed me how to please her with both hands gentle on my head. Her pussy was plump and hairless with meaty pouting lips and her sweet juice oozed onto my eager tongue. Kneeling between her widespread thighs and feasting on her warm humid velvety flesh was the most erotic sensation I'd ever known. I obeyed her every direction as if in a trance and it seemed to go on forever, encouraged and excited by her hoarse whispers and mews and moans of pleasure. Her breathing became more rapid and seemed to be building urgently towards something unknown. She kept telling me not to stop.

Suddenly her entire body tensed and convulsed violently and she screamed in excruciating agony. It was like a volcanic explosion on top of an earthquake lasting for at least a couple of minutes and my face was drenched with sweet warm juice. I was initially terrified -- what had I done ? She seemed mortally wounded and in need of medical attention. She smiled when she saw the panic on my face and collapsed with an enormous sigh of contented bliss.

I awoke the next day to euphoria -- I had suddenly become the world's greatest lover and became forever addicted to worshipping at the altar of Venus. Nowadays I routinely beg for the honour and privilege of partaking in the sacred communion of my mouth and the holy grail of femininity. Bringing a woman to an intense squealing squirting orgasm with my lips and tongue and swallowing her delicious essence is still my greatest thrill.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Friday, March 25, 2016

Bad Friday

Bad Friday, a day to worship -- the glorious heaven between her thighs.

A day to taste and savour and swallow every drop of her sacred essence.

A day to subject your Goddess to the exquisite excruciating agony of orgasmic bliss.